Despite this post and my last parody post, I'm NOT trying to be the Weird Al Yankovic of social media (emphasis on trying).
But I was thinking about the new subscribe feature on Facebook. And thinking about "I will subscribe" reminded me of "I will survive."
So apologies in advance for all of the various federal and international laws of good taste I'm breaking. Just do me a favor and hum the song when you read the lyrics? Trust me.
** "I Will Subscribe" **
First I was annoyed
I got snarkified
Kept wondering why Facebook changed
its interface design
After I spent so many nights
Making custom Facebook tabs
They looked wrong
But iframes forced me to carry on
And now you’ve changed
You’re all f8
I just logged in for Spotify and
Scoble’s timeline’s in place
I want to cancel my account
Praying 750 million leave
But who are we really kidding
I meant the g-damn site is free?
Go on now Zuck, walk out the door
Take Parker with you
Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the ones making friend a four-letter word?
Our cookies crumbled
Web browsers laid down and die
What can I do?
I will subscribe
It’s the one big change they made
Keeping my Facebook love alive
I’ll get on my wall to moan
how the old design did pwn
But I’ll subscribe
I will subscribe.
If you thought I was mad
about the new design
Just wait till Apple fan boys
see the iPhone and say “SQUIRREL!”
and they'spend oh so many nights
just sifting through the iPhone pr0n
That phone may pwn
I’ve already got my own
and you see me
with iPhone 4
Chained to another contract
some time before I’ll renew
Until then I’ll save my hipster angst
for one more site tragically free
In fact I may unleash my snarking
for someone on Google+